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From:
Tracy H
Email: SICILLIAN23@aol.com
Category: Induction/Pitocin
Date: 13 Jun 2002
My name is Tracy. I live with my darling husband Heath and our two children Heath Justin and Lauryn Taylor. Lauryn Taylor is a miracle as am I. Our story started on the afternoon of May 21,2001. I went to a routine visit and my OB felt it necessary to induce in the morning but, that I should come in that night to get ripened. So, I went back home, packed my bags and set off to give birth to our second child excitedly. Not knowing what was ahead of me and my baby girl. That night I got checked in and the usual routine was done when being admitted to give birth to a child. Around 11 O'clock that night the nurse came in to put a ripening agent behind my cervix called "Cervidil". Whoa! That was awful! It wasn't a minute and I started to hurt to high heavens. I was moaning an awful lot and trying to keep quiet as to not disturb the other laboring mothers but, I just couldn't help it. My husband was getting scared. He paged the nurse to come in. He told her that this was not normal for me to be in that great of pain all at once and that she needed to take it out. She left the room to call the OB for permission to take it out. Finally she came back in and took the "Cervidil" out and I felt instant relief. Never felt better actually. Considering the pain I was in. Considering the pain I was in. She came back in a little later and said she had to put it back in. I told her she didn't but, she insisted and admittedly she was very rude to say the least. So, she puts that horrid gel back in behind my cervix and the pain kicks in even more. I still can remember how bad it hurt. She didn't care and was rude to me and told me to calm down. I told her I was trying but, the pain was all too much for me to bare. I said that I didn't go through this with my son Heath. She gave me something for the pain, I reckon Stadol but, I am not sure. I will have to look back on my medical records. The next morning around 6 O'clock they started the pit drip. I started to have labor pains again and this time they were sharp. They had me go about an hour with the pains and then finally called the anesthesiologist in to perform an epidural on me because I could not stand the pain anymore. That was a great relief and the anesthesiologist was very kind and well mannered. He treated me like Gold which I had not been treated that kind by the other staff there besides my OB whom I thought the world of. So, for a great while I felt at peace and no pain and my sister in law Mary arrives with my Mother Susan. Thank the Lord for them. Mary is a nurse and she is highly intelligent and motivating. I feel if not for her I would have not made it through this ordeal. Here is why I say this......Approximately 10:30 that same morning I felt a pop and burning sensation. I looked at Mary and then my Mother and said something strange just happened. Mary held my hand and rubbed my back for me and told me everything would be ok. Then the labor pains came rushing back in through me again , down my lower back, into my abdomen and into my legs again. My water had not broken at this point. Which was awfully strange because even Mary, a nurse, and my Mother thought that the bags of waters should be broken before hand. If any one knows anything about this, I would love for you to contact me. Ok...Back to what was happening to me. The nurse came in and verified that my bag of waters was indeed intact and that I was not dilated fully yet and that there was a "lip" of my cervix left. By then it was 11 O'clock and I was screaming my head off and crying. The nurse told me to "Shut up" or she was leaving the room. Mary went off on her and told her that she was a licensed nurse and that she had the power to go over head and that if she did not page the OB immediately there would be "hell to pay"! Way to go Mary! So, the nurse storms out, and a few minutes later comes in with two other nurses who were frantic. I started to get scared because I got a tingly feeling in my limbs. I started to feel faint and my heart decaled according to Mary. She should know, that is her job. My mother started to cry. I was saying "what, what, what!". Heath was standing there pacing back and forth with his eyes enormous and I didn't understand why. A few minutes later I see my OB come rushing in frantically saying "Why the hell didn't anyone call me sooner". He told the one nurse to get the hell out of the room. I had never seen my OB this upset in my whole pregnancy. He was such a gentle man and was always so calm. He told me he was going to break my bag of waters and I said "fine". Then finally I got the major urge to push Lauryn out. They told me to hold on and they had to turn her. I guess she went back to a posterior position. Then I felt another ripping , burning sensation down there in the birth canal and I felt like I was going to die. Mary started to get upset and so did the nurses and the OB. The OB told my Mother to shut the camera off. Yes, we have part of it on video. So, we have everything up until my OB said to turn the camera off. After that the put oxygen on my face and told me to push, and to keep pushing with each contraction. Mind you I was in dire straits here and I had an epidural in me as well and that was not even masking the pain one bit! I couldn't push on my own no longer and there was a good reason why but, we didn't know it at the time. The OB asked if he could use the vacuum on her and I said Yes. I don't know what prompted me to say Yes to the vacuum but, I did. I just couldn't take it anymore. I needed help getting her out. I remember laying there , thinking " God, OH DEAR GOD, Help me. Help me deliver this baby soon or I am going to die." I could tell I was dieing. I saw black and lights. It was strange. I couldn't hear anymore. My eyesight was bad and I was blacking out. I kept thinking, this is it. I am going to die. My child is going to die. "Don't let me die." I kept praying this in my head. I looked up at Mary. She was crying. I looked at my OB. He kept telling me to push. I couldn't push anymore. I was weak. I was dieing. I was losing the fight. My OB told two nurses to get on the sides of me and to push down on my abdomen. It hurt like hell and I was not breathing too good. My face started to go numb and then finally with the help of the two nurses on each side of me, Mary holding my hand, my Mother standing in the sidelines with my husband crying their eyes out, making me think , Tracy, you have to live, you have all these people who need you and love you. You have a baby boy at home and now a daughter who needs you. Don't die yet. You must live for your family. You can't be selfish and die now. It is not your time. Finally Lauryn Taylor came out with a jolt and my OB held her up and gave her to a special care nurse. They worked on Lauryn and then while that was going on he looked up inside me and said, "Ok, Tracy, I must take you down to the OR immediately. We need to stitch you up". I just laid there and watched everyone fade in and out as they wheeled me down to the OR quickly to repair the damage done to my womb. I don't remember a whole lot. They put me on a table and then I was out. I came to in the OR recovery room. I was groggy and sore. They finally wheeled me back up to a new room where my husband and mother was waiting for me. Mary had to go to work after all of this. She is a hard working nurse and her duty was done when she new I had survived and so she went to her place of employment to care for others that needed her. At the time, I had no anger. I wanted to see my precious baby and to thank Mary for being stern with that particular nurse and to thank my sister from the bottom of my heart for saving me and being an advocate when I couldn't speak for myself. Later on I learned that I had torn bilaterally at the bottom of my uterus into my cervix, thus the reason I could push no longer. The surgery to repair me took a little over 3 hours according to my husband. My right side tore 5 centimeters and into my left 3 centimeters and then back up 2 centimeters. That is a lot of tearing and a lot of blood I loss. My daughter was born with many health problems. Some of the health problems I feel are because of the pitocin while others I feel are just part of life itself. Lauryn has a hole in her heart, hydrocephalus~possibly due to the vacuum extraction and the lacerations and the way she came out of the birth canal, and she may have a form of leukodystrophy which is considered a Peroximal disorder. As well as this Lauryn was on an apnea monitor for the first 6 months of her life due to bradycardia spells and she slept in a reflux sling as well. She was on different types of meds to keep her body functioning properly and so she would not spit up her formula. My daughter may have to have a shunt for the rest of her life as well due to the water that filled up on her brain. The pain I deal with is not just emotionally for her and myself as to why this had to happen and why were the staff not careful with me and my child but, also the physical pain. I have adhesions from the scar tissue build up in my uterus and cervix. Intercourse with my husband is not as enjoyable as it used to be before all of this happened. My periods have become sporadic and heavier. The pain on my left side sometimes is unbearable and I can't get out of bed. I developed a severe uterine infection after the surgery that prevented me to breast feed any longer because Lauryn's pediatrician didn't want to take any chances of it getting into the milk. So, I only got to feed my baby girl by breast for one month which outrageous me because I am a big advocate on breastfeeding. I was on antibiotics for 3 months after her birth. My immune system is worse now and I can feel the adhesion pain in my uterus and bowels. I sometimes get a really bad pain in my bladder from adhesions there as well. My lower back hurts all the time now. I have been dealing with chronic pain for over a year now thanks to the pitocin drip. We must have this taken off the market. The pain it has caused my sister in law and my nephew and many others I love dearly, including a good friend who lost her uterus and part of her vagina from this dreadful drug, makes me shutter when I think of it. I am angry and I feel that many people are not informed. I was not informed. How can you make an informed decision with so very little of the facts if any? No, my baby did not die and I am still alive and well for the most part but, the pain I feel for myself, my child, my family and the other families affected by this awful drug, will remain in my heart, my mind, my body, and my soul forever. It will never go away. Nothing anyone can do or say will make this pain go away. I ache every day and I hurt for others. But, most of all I am thankful to share my story with everyone who visits this site and to express my great gratitude towards Mary for being vocal and being my advocate. She breathed for my soul when my soul could no longer breathe. I am thankful that I got a second chance to share my story with others and to help anyone who even thinks of induction with the drug Pitocin to make an informed decision and to hopefully wake up the pharmaceutical companies with the fact that while they are making money off this horrid drug we are losing mothers, wives, friends, sisters, aunts, and cousins. The women and family who have been affected by this I leave my story ended with this note, I am here, I survived, and I will make my survival useful to inform everyone of this situation that has fallen into our lives unexpectedly. My love and gratitude to God and everyone else touched by this story. Thank you, Tracy
Just for the record, all information posted here are personal experiences/stories. There are no Doctors/Nurses answering questions on the board. This board is for sharing stories so we can learn from each other! If you have any problems with the board, please email me at Angela4KP1@comcast.net